kenya.....kritique

Nairobi politics, football, conspiracy theories and related propaganda

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

of 2007 prezzo ambitions....

now that ruto, tinga, kalonzo and uhuru are officially in the race for prezzo, lemme disect and analyse how 2007 reallignments are likely to be...(my opinion is based purely on rational jingoism!!!!)
first and foremost, some truths and half truths!

Tinga is LDP!!! period.... hakuna jogoo ingine inawika kwa hiyo nyumba isipokuwa Tinga!!!Kalonzo et al might as well jump ship if they are actually dreaming that Tinga is going to play second fiddle this time round. Tinga roared and declared that he will offer himself...Nay!!! he declared that the LDP ticket is his and has always been his!!! ( my inference hate or love it, i dont care!!)

Kalonzo, is seriously in need of help!! actually he is getting it! who could not see that by launching a foundation...( by the way , foundations are the sole preserve of former presidents, kings, Agah khans etc!! not aspiring leaders and tribal chiefs!! but i digress), he essentially is mobilising funds for his 2007 prezzo election war chest!!! cunning move mister, keep it up. problem is, what happens if the elections come a cropper???? By the way, what happens if the next steadman poll shows that koigi or kalembe or shakombo ama Manduli is the most favored prezzo candidate, should any launch a foundation in anticipation of being elected??? come on dont let fickle and scientific trends cheat you ati utaipata virahisi!!! Kenyans are known to go against science and usually they vote tribally and with their stomachs!!leo wewe, kesho yule....

Ruto on the other hand did a number on Uhuru (my boy mpende msipende!!). Problem is (ruto) chose the wrong platform... He essentially reduced himself to a sub-tribal chief!!! Who issues declarations this days??? ati ravine declaration!!! i spit on it...we made our declaration once!!! that was in 1963!!! what were those rifty pumbavu mps declaring against??? poverty, upumbavu ama famine?? No wonder Mzee Moi (a brilliant statesman indeed) could not stomach it!!! Ruto is more infamous ( note the "in"!!!) for his role in YK92, YK97 et cetera...

Uhuru. Now this is a tricky one... i mean, previously Moi's baggage brought down his stato chances!!! Now the tribal baggage brought about by Kibs ( are you awake yet?) will surely compound his chances... Kijana should simply cut ties with the former prezzo and his tribe -kyuks!!!! the dude though has money and hence can sweeten and woo his voters in ways that the other candidates cant!!

the rest of the field i.e... the mudavadis, balalas, okemos. mutulas etc, are but a bunch of dreamers who dont deserve a mention in this erstwhile publication..

Of the four serious contenders, two will fight it out for ODM (or whatever it is called this days..)..........

since we have established that, Tinga is LDP. then logically UHURU is KANU!!!.............. hence this two will square it out for ODM ticket...

history tells us that hakutakuwa KT (Kenyatta tosha!!) this time. Hence Tinga and Uhuru will go for the presidency in their own boats and hence the ODM will be no more.... Meanwhile Kalonzo will shop for a tribal party a.k.a NPK to further his ambitions..........

Therefore ladies and the rest, Kibs can actually and will actually secure a second term while asleep in state house!!!!

watakuwa wamepatiwa kibaki kiti mara ya pili bila yeye kufanya chochote!!!! ouch..this all goes to show that in kenya, success and popularity is short lived............ selfish tribal greeds carry the day....



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