satos=footie=Man U / Arsenal vs the rest

Last saturday saw Man U concede a goal to the scousers and hence Man U did not manage to win. This is a careful choice of words for when it comes to the great red devils, they neva lose a game, they simply manage not to win in one of those rare encounters. As for the rest of the field i.e goon squad, scousers chelskis etc, they simply get beat!!! period. now that we have established my allegiance, onto to other things...

whoever came up with sato sports, deserves a pat in the back...life would would otherwise be boring for we batchelors and them spinsters..... Football takes prime time on sato and no matter what the outcome of a game is, a sato is neva complete bila footie. I
am a manchester united fan ( hence the link) and if i can, i never miss a game involving the red devils.
tukishinda then its a guaranteed tusker downing evening.
tukishindwa then its another tusker downing evening.....to down the sorrow ofcourse!!!
tukidraw, well its yet another evening of tuskers.
therefore whichever way the game goes, tuskers will surely be downed!!!!

the beauty of sato sports is that its a guy- thing, though lately mamas have found it interesting to indulge in sato sports rather than doing their nails, hair or whatever they do on satos...(methinks its a keeping a short leash on the dude, ama) ask Oyunga Pala
but i digress...

it all starts with the pre match analysis, highlights predictions and other whatnots, by football pundits, knowitalls and anyone who thinks he's got his two cents on the game. The teams will have been analysed days before and likely results indicated.
kisha opposing fans gather in the watering holes then its all systems go.. as the game progresses, mafans cheer, sneer, growl, howl, scream, laugh and sob depending on which side of the footballing divide they belong...
in nairobi, most mafans are either Man U's (weka mikono juuuuuuuuuu...) or Arsenal's(what a bunch of losers!!!!)
Then kumetokea some confused fellas..
ATI CHELSKI FANS, LIVERFOOLS Fans etc...
hawa ni watu wamekosa msimamo. Most of them are infact Arsenal fans and only shifted allegiances when mambo yalipoanza kwenda mrama huko highbury!!! Actually these quasi-arsenal fans will always switch allegiance mbioooooo!! when arsenal is being whacked mercilessly by akina bolton, wigan ama leicester!!!!talk of a crappy bunch of sore losers..
they will be at it again whenever Man U is playing or the scousers or chelski!!! they simply have no bearing on what loyalty is all about. I dare say Man U fans never defect no matter what!....sisi ni watu wa msimamo kabambe! (Just like KANU , to use a bad analogy )

These fake bunch will shout the loudest whenever arsenal thwacks a weak team. They will talk of the glory days ahead ( actually the have been dreaming of glory since time immemorial) but once thwacked, they retreat and scamper with their tails between their legs only to re-emerge later with false hopes.
wakishindwa, ole wao!!.

then there is this bunch of glory suckers...
hawa walijiunga na chelski and/or liverfools only when these teams had a taste of victory!! you will see them huddled together in a clumsy group pretending to be watching a chelski/liverfool game. Kumbe secretely they are monitoring the results of Man U/Arsenal!! bure kabisa!!!!. You will hear them claim ati all their live wamekuwa chelski/liverfool fans!!!
should u put a simple questions across, kama "when did chelski/liverfool last win the FA cup?" they stare in bewilderment and change the subject. Ask them who was Chelski's/ liverfool's captain in say 2001, they accuse u of playa hating!!!! shindwe nyinyi!!!!
they are a simply a bunch of losers who love to savour the success of others due to their own shortfalls! ukiona hawa??....gonga na chupa ya tusker!!

lastly kuna wale ambao they are simply nutheads. they claim to be pacifists and only watch the cos they lack nothing better to do!!! wanasema they dont support any team but will always be seen around the bar whenever man u / arsenal is playing.. sasa hawa wakati game imebamba, they change sides as fast as they down their tuskers. they claim to bestride the middleground as far as the game is concerned. Lakini wacha bao ifungwe na ile timu they really support
in their hearts!!!! chaooooos. they will shout the loudest and soon allegiances will be re-established!! Should the opponent score, they will squirm in their seats and feign lack of interest in the game.
Usually this bunch like the goon squad, will always leave before the game concludes. Kisha they source for the outcome via sms. Normally they will claim ati wanaenda kazi (kazi????? sato jioni na jamaa alikuwa anapewa kitu.....thats a good one!) or ati they have a date at home. Most probably wameitwa na mama nyumbani.
u have to give it lakini to the goon squad when it comes to false aspirations!!! yani they will brag and brag about their supposedly young squad which will work wonders in future ( again about glory days in future.. dream on losers....!!)
all in all Man U (Like us, hate us, doesnt matter) will alway rock!!!!
i am yet to meet a true ManU fan( wait a minute, there are no "true" fans for man u fans never defect. hence no need to classify them as either, true fans ama quasi fans ama pacifists!!) who will walk away from a man u game whatever the likely outcome. the thing is, we understand the game and we know winning and losing is part of it.

so kwa wale wote ambaye mnapenda kandanda, where do u lie?? for u are either with us or against us!!
Ngoja hii sunday, Wigan will wish they neva got promoted to the premiership!!!
tutawakaranga na kuwapika kama githeri!!!