Nairobi politics, football, conspiracy theories and related propaganda

Monday, March 27, 2006

farting politicians, media and fish!!!

The burgers had nothing to fret about this weekend!!
it was that uneventful (politically that is..) that Kombo actually made the headlines in
the major news networks...dude was opening an office in thika. that! my friend, will be a tough sell, good luck to him.
Raila and co. retreated to their hideouts and cocoons ati....
"to serve my constituents" ... uwongo mtupu!!

On friday though, ODM came out in force to condemn KIBs on his supposed approval of NARC-K. Whatever this bunch smokes must be quite potent! I mean, what business does ODM have in NARC affairs? they bailed out, remember?
Raila even had the audacity to compare his 90's shenanigans to this.

My understanding is, KIBS has simply given his nod to the formation of the party NARK-K.
he has not in any way defected!
The odm burgers as if on cue, were asking, nay! demanding from Kibaki ati "to do the moral thing and quit!!"...yani there is no situation , rather anything that kibs does, that to this bunch, warrants his resignation!!
i bet akishuta, they will call for a snap poll!!!!
KIBS like any citizen has a right to express himself.

Ofcourse they do know that huko mashambani, the electorate is bound to get confused and shud there be voter apathy, they could actually vote back NARC. MOi used this trick to entrench his rule.
kibaki strategists are surely on overdrive! that fella mutahi ngunyi is a clever one!!

Have you noticed how all the hullabaloo on a myriad of issues, scandals and other whatnots has died down??
surely kenyans, are we these gullible??
do we suffer from short-term memory loss??

what happened to the githongo issue?

what happened to the standard raid issue?

what about goldenberg, land issues??
i could go on and on.....
Kibs stategists have surely mastered the art of deception (that dude...mutahi ngunyi.)
By saddling our thoughts with so many issues at once, they know that in as much as we vent our anger, itwill not be on a single issue which could potentially spill over.They have now saddled the public with allegations of improper conduct against the governor of cbk.. poor dude!
Yenyewe there are no sacred cows in kibs admin - (except mama winnie mwai and karoocy!!!)

Down at the coast, kijana balaa (yea him, balala) is trying to actualise his dream( or is it a nightmare!!) of inheriting the "king of coast" mantle!!
Will somebody please tell balaa that despite buying (what else?) a kaya eldership, he will never
africanise his roots! Dont get me wrong, am not tribal, but there are sections of our society
that will neva see the inside of a state house bed!!
asians, arabs, somalis etc, come to mind. These communities have insignificant numbers that
cannot and will neva alter our political landscape.
I have always maintained that our politics is based majorly on tribe!!
No need to burry our heads in the sand and pretend ati kesho we could elect a prezzo from any of the above communities.
haidhuru, just as i wished kombo all the best in his latest foray into central, so do i to kijana balaa!!
hmmmm...think of it prezzo balala!!! not in a a million years!!
he is as unelectable as ruto!! ruto's fault is his past. Nevertheless, ruto has numbers .

The media, not to be left behind , suddenly found a sticking point.
last friday, NMG through the DN published a report on the leading websites in east africa.
top on the list was ofcourse The SMG not to be outdone, published on sunday its own survey quoting some unknown organisation. top on the list(actually they had none!!) was This is ofcourse a case of sour grapes!!
you see, the nation survey was conducted by a "third party with worldwide credibilty". It authored supposedly by a ugandan...uwongo mtupu!!
The standard , used two of its reporters to write some piece on how superior their site is! ati they use sijui "mirrored servers"..who gives a damn!!

lakini yenyewe ya'll know which one is tops!!!! this one!! ha!!

Hapo yenyewe standard cried like a kiddo whose "patco" has been stolen!! i wonder why they did not publish the whole top 20 sites as per their "indepth and accurate" research. ofcourse it would be the same as nation, only that their site would be tops!!
Being in compe, SMG knows it must always strive to match the monster that NMG is.
Recently, NMG announced its annual returns. SMG had released earlier.
On comparison, a glaring gap is evident between the two. More like a david vs GOLIATH affair, so to speak.
NMG managed to break into the BILLION shilling profit club!! (quite a feat considering the economic scenario.)
As for SMG, well lets say they are trying their best. They did have a dip in their profitability. (why else, they rattled a snake!!) The expected break into "hundred MILLION" profits bracket did not materialise...they should probably blame KIBS...

The Nation had its demons to exorcise!!! in the report, they could not stomach the idea that capitalfm is the most listened to station online!!!
their pretext....-ati since easyfm(formerly nationfam) is hosted on the nationmedia site, it is ngumu to determine the leader in this field!!!
mshidwe nyote!! capitalfm is indeed the most listened station on the web (for eastafrica ..that is) . Infact when one visits the radio link on, one gets a blank page informing you that it's under construction! its been like this for ages!! they have neva managed to go online. it is an easy job (how ironic!!) for a company with vast resources like NMG!!!

A curious website that made the list was i bet this made jangs go gaga!!!! what happened brothers? such an undertaking is expected from jangs who i think possess the best ICT brains in Kenya!!
It was surprising. its worth noting that kiuks are ahead in most fields. hate it or like it!! !! its simply the cold truth, not a stereotype!!
Nevertheless, this does point to the fact that tribal sentiments indeed run deep in kenya.
have a good one!!


  • At Monday, March 27, 2006, Anonymous deeply perturbed said…

    YOU realize that as usual the ODM guys are behaving like rabies infected dogs barking at their own tails and thus we expect nothing but their usual noise. And as usual none of them could comprehend what was happening until Raila came up with his version and Voila experts on Narc-Kenya are born within ODM
    Gullibility is our middle name. We are so Confused as a country that we rarely follow anything through, however much we shout or protest some things remain the same as these guys just lie low waiting for all the Kelele to go.
    Down at the coast Balala is another one who has perfected the art of saying nothing at every opportunity but with the Kaya thing he even outdid himself The guy aint even a mijikenda and yet he is now their elder It's like a hyena being in the council of elders among the lions.
    Iam sorry for him for now he has surely sounded his political death.
    Storo za Nation na Standard is not news cause these two are always at logger heads to a point of appearing childish. Theirs is a dis game that have for now no basis on anything.
    by the way have Raila not seen the kikuyu website thing he should be made to know

    Someone make my day pls.

  • At Tuesday, March 28, 2006, Blogger kritik said…

    deeply pertubed, your analysis of the situation is indeed illuminating.
    yea, i wonder why raila has not raised dust on the thing.
    as for balaa, he surely is a confused burger...

  • At Tuesday, March 28, 2006, Blogger Nakeel said…

    Ma u touching the topic I hate most Kenyan Politics sucks..

    One word for Balala alichezewa akili kama katoi when u tel the kid kula sweet nikalete gari. By the time she is done u wnet kitambo..

    First he is not a Mijikenda so who had lied to him that the Kaya leaders will ever give him the kingship...

  • At Tuesday, March 28, 2006, Blogger Shiroh said…

    Kritik as always we agree on politics. Something that is very rare.

    Ati now that Kibs has allied himself to Narc Kenya ati he resigns. Total bull poop, why havent those alligning themselves wit LDP quit.

    Mayao those guys are so stupid. I wish i was given chance to be opposition i would do so good. Kibs bashin is taking us nowhere.Balala prease kujikaranga kwa moto kama kawaida.

    Useress ODM, useress. We need opposition in Kenya

  • At Tuesday, March 28, 2006, Blogger KenyanMusings said…

    tihi at that cartoon. Sasa you?

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006, Blogger kritik said…

    nakeel, blala bit a lil' bit more than he cud chew. guys down at the coast are railing him from all over! that was a stupid move.. ati even a kid can weave the kofia he wore for the occasion!! total for our silly scoundrels, they are nothing but a bunch of sleepers...more like bed-bugs!

    shiroh, am totally in agreement. yea, the LDP hoodlums are but a "useress" bunch. what a sorry excuse for an opposition! doing good despite our "shitty" political scene. lakini we shall rectify this in '07.

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006, Blogger deeply pertubed said…

    please sample this from the standard:

    on balaa..

    If Najib Balala had 'eaten' as many books as he has weathered political storms, he would profess with Bill Moyers that ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism and has no respect for cultural values, including eldership.

    And on (kenyan) political parties:
    "the old parties are husks, with no real soul within either, divided on artificial lines, boss-ridden and privilege-controlled, each a jumble of incongruous elements, and neither daring to speak out wisely and fearlessly on what should be said on the vital issues of the day".

  • At Wednesday, March 29, 2006, Blogger kritik said…

    couldnt have put it better maself.
    total balaa!!!

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