Nairobi politics, football, conspiracy theories and related propaganda

Monday, March 27, 2006

farting politicians, media and fish!!!

The burgers had nothing to fret about this weekend!!
it was that uneventful (politically that is..) that Kombo actually made the headlines in
the major news networks...dude was opening an office in thika. that! my friend, will be a tough sell, good luck to him.
Raila and co. retreated to their hideouts and cocoons ati....
"to serve my constituents" ... uwongo mtupu!!

On friday though, ODM came out in force to condemn KIBs on his supposed approval of NARC-K. Whatever this bunch smokes must be quite potent! I mean, what business does ODM have in NARC affairs? they bailed out, remember?
Raila even had the audacity to compare his 90's shenanigans to this.

My understanding is, KIBS has simply given his nod to the formation of the party NARK-K.
he has not in any way defected!
The odm burgers as if on cue, were asking, nay! demanding from Kibaki ati "to do the moral thing and quit!!"...yani there is no situation , rather anything that kibs does, that to this bunch, warrants his resignation!!
i bet akishuta, they will call for a snap poll!!!!
KIBS like any citizen has a right to express himself.

Ofcourse they do know that huko mashambani, the electorate is bound to get confused and shud there be voter apathy, they could actually vote back NARC. MOi used this trick to entrench his rule.
kibaki strategists are surely on overdrive! that fella mutahi ngunyi is a clever one!!

Have you noticed how all the hullabaloo on a myriad of issues, scandals and other whatnots has died down??
surely kenyans, are we these gullible??
do we suffer from short-term memory loss??

what happened to the githongo issue?

what happened to the standard raid issue?

what about goldenberg, land issues??
i could go on and on.....
Kibs stategists have surely mastered the art of deception (that dude...mutahi ngunyi.)
By saddling our thoughts with so many issues at once, they know that in as much as we vent our anger, itwill not be on a single issue which could potentially spill over.They have now saddled the public with allegations of improper conduct against the governor of cbk.. poor dude!
Yenyewe there are no sacred cows in kibs admin - (except mama winnie mwai and karoocy!!!)

Down at the coast, kijana balaa (yea him, balala) is trying to actualise his dream( or is it a nightmare!!) of inheriting the "king of coast" mantle!!
Will somebody please tell balaa that despite buying (what else?) a kaya eldership, he will never
africanise his roots! Dont get me wrong, am not tribal, but there are sections of our society
that will neva see the inside of a state house bed!!
asians, arabs, somalis etc, come to mind. These communities have insignificant numbers that
cannot and will neva alter our political landscape.
I have always maintained that our politics is based majorly on tribe!!
No need to burry our heads in the sand and pretend ati kesho we could elect a prezzo from any of the above communities.
haidhuru, just as i wished kombo all the best in his latest foray into central, so do i to kijana balaa!!
hmmmm...think of it prezzo balala!!! not in a a million years!!
he is as unelectable as ruto!! ruto's fault is his past. Nevertheless, ruto has numbers .

The media, not to be left behind , suddenly found a sticking point.
last friday, NMG through the DN published a report on the leading websites in east africa.
top on the list was ofcourse The SMG not to be outdone, published on sunday its own survey quoting some unknown organisation. top on the list(actually they had none!!) was This is ofcourse a case of sour grapes!!
you see, the nation survey was conducted by a "third party with worldwide credibilty". It authored supposedly by a ugandan...uwongo mtupu!!
The standard , used two of its reporters to write some piece on how superior their site is! ati they use sijui "mirrored servers"..who gives a damn!!

lakini yenyewe ya'll know which one is tops!!!! this one!! ha!!

Hapo yenyewe standard cried like a kiddo whose "patco" has been stolen!! i wonder why they did not publish the whole top 20 sites as per their "indepth and accurate" research. ofcourse it would be the same as nation, only that their site would be tops!!
Being in compe, SMG knows it must always strive to match the monster that NMG is.
Recently, NMG announced its annual returns. SMG had released earlier.
On comparison, a glaring gap is evident between the two. More like a david vs GOLIATH affair, so to speak.
NMG managed to break into the BILLION shilling profit club!! (quite a feat considering the economic scenario.)
As for SMG, well lets say they are trying their best. They did have a dip in their profitability. (why else, they rattled a snake!!) The expected break into "hundred MILLION" profits bracket did not materialise...they should probably blame KIBS...

The Nation had its demons to exorcise!!! in the report, they could not stomach the idea that capitalfm is the most listened to station online!!!
their pretext....-ati since easyfm(formerly nationfam) is hosted on the nationmedia site, it is ngumu to determine the leader in this field!!!
mshidwe nyote!! capitalfm is indeed the most listened station on the web (for eastafrica ..that is) . Infact when one visits the radio link on, one gets a blank page informing you that it's under construction! its been like this for ages!! they have neva managed to go online. it is an easy job (how ironic!!) for a company with vast resources like NMG!!!

A curious website that made the list was i bet this made jangs go gaga!!!! what happened brothers? such an undertaking is expected from jangs who i think possess the best ICT brains in Kenya!!
It was surprising. its worth noting that kiuks are ahead in most fields. hate it or like it!! !! its simply the cold truth, not a stereotype!!
Nevertheless, this does point to the fact that tribal sentiments indeed run deep in kenya.
have a good one!!

Monday, March 20, 2006

innocent till proven guilty

Recent happenings in relations to the mercenary saga leaves alot
of unanswered questions. first, why are these so called mercenaries
so arrogant? who are they really working for? why is the government so reluctant
to unravel this fiasco? why is the police so divided?
i must say this saga is indeed appalling. Agwambo surely bit more than he could chew.
with allegations flying in all directions its hard to discern the
As usual the whole thing has been politicised (everything in kenya is politicised anyway!!)
The armenians as arrogant as they are, deserve to be treated as
foreigners and not mercenaries as claimed by politicians. Till a competent authority determines them to be such, then
noone has the right to accuse them. dont get me wrong, i am not
defending these bling-bling ruffians, nay!!! i am just siding with the rule
of law!! personally, i would lynch for their arrogance!!
but we got to stick to the tenets of justice.
remember the adage"innocent till proven guilty??"how did Raila know they were mercenaries? is he a mercenary himself?? for it takes a thief to know one!!
Am no Kibaki apologist, likewise i am not a railamaniac neither am i a railaphobe!!!
these two have managed to screw up what MOI did not in his 24 years!!!
OK kibaki has somehow managed to tweak the economy in the assumed right direction. his aloofness has been mistaken to reflect the "expanded democratic space" thats as far as dude goes.

s for raila
, he just doesnt count in my books!. he has a way of twisting issues
to suit his own interests. In as much as i admire that trait, i must add that his
shenanigans have held this country at ransom.
why must the country always be reduced to fights between raila and moi, or raila and kibaki...etc????? must everything be a turned into a contest by this man??
go right ahead all ya railamaniacs....usual spin..u can throw daggers at me. my space remember?..
fine, he was screwed in the past, get over it man, its politics they all say its a dirty game!!
when you make allegations, you had better come up with facts to back your claims. making insinuations that only serve to malign others is really cheap! sadly the whole fiasco has consigned crucial issues to the periphery.
The media on its part has played its part in this shit. Am amazed whenever i read the two papers. why do the standard and the daily nation print totally different accounts of
the same event? who reporting the truth??
i mean just read the nation account, compare it with the standard version. In most cases, the two are radically different.
the same goes for the KTN and NTV. what happened to unbiased objectivity??

All in all, i wouldnt expect SMG (standard media group) to be pro-govt. It is owned by MOI and his cronies and hence by extension,the opposition
The NMG (nation media group) is owned majorly by foreigners (Agah khan) though a substantial stake is held by locals who were may be perceived to be pro-govt.
at the end of the day, the two will always take radically different approaches to
events and report them according to the whims of their masters.

Monday, March 13, 2006

mercenaries! lies! bird flu and related sh!t...........

the Raila allegations of mercenaries operating in kenya
should be taken with a pinch of salt. It beats logic that raila can
gather such info and even present passport copies of the said goons by himself. he neva misses an opportunity to cast himself as the oppresed one, huh? ATi the said armenians have been hired to eliminate ODM luminaries???? give us a break dude!!! such cheap publicity stunts usually fall flat on their asses!! (not faces). It amazes me whenever agwambo somehow fits
his political battles in every govt misdeed!!! yani he has manged to turn the STANDARD RAID to be an issue about ODM!!! The dude is shrewd!!!
Ironically, the TWo ARMENIANS have just held a press conference and infact they were invited by , yep u guessed it right!!! RAILA and KALONZO!!!. apparently the two "mercenaries" are THE Armenian Prezzo's nephews!!!!!
ofcourse RAILA and co will swiftly deny...typical of political sluts!!! who the firk are these odm dipstiks fooling???????

Just as in the past, Raila is hell-bent on whipping up public support
and in the process disparage Kibs. Ofcourse his is just but a cheap ploy to
remain in the public limelight for as long as he can.Kamanda and co then went shooting their feet in their asses!! fine they did get a crowd
and actually i was amazed to note that the gava stil has some sympathisers!!!! yerp every dog has its day.
A rather curious happening was seeing the so called ODM luminaries emerge and declare ati they are united in their quest to field a single prezzo candidate in '07.
who's fooling who??? we all know they will all take a stab at the presidency!!! granted if they pull it off, then it will be the end of
the KIBAKI-NARC fiasco (for lack of a better word). Should they fail and each launches his own bid, then KIBAKI will be assured of another
5 years of dozing in State house!!!!
the saddest thing though is that KANU!! (yes kanu!!) will have sneaked back to power and i shudder at that thought!!! I have always maintained that ODM is simply KANU RELOADED!!!
LDP is but KANU's errant boy!!!
GOOd people, are we ready for another round of kanu plunder?????
i dont think so!!! but hey its our vote and infact we should vote out all these bastards!!!! the 222 of them...including KIBs.
having said that, and knowing fully well we will not vote them all out, i feel then our politics sucks!!!
Michuki amechizi!! raila as usual is dissillusioned!!, kibaki amelala, uhuru ni kupewa tu!! kalonzo amechoka, balala ni balaa, ruto is rotten to the core!!
anyang nyo'ngo amenyongwa!! Kombo ameenda kombo!! kimunya anamumumnya peke yake!!! arrrgggh!!!

but i digress.........

a politician's life is defined by the amount of publicity he generates and
mischief he creates to score valuable political capital.
you see in kenya, we tend to forget issues rather quickly and yesterday's scandals and enemies
are quickly forgotten.
take the case of ALI and The MEDIA. ODM was busy parading journalist's and banning them from their referendum rallies.
ODM even called for the sacking of ALI following the unfortunate and tragic shooting of several people in kisumu.
Looking at that brigade last week, pretending to be the guardian of press freedom and ALI, left alot to be desired.
the sad bit is that we kenyans always fall for the crap that these politicians feed us.
why on earth would a sensible man call such leaders "wakombozi"?
in as much as the NARC govt has failed miserably, the ODM will not present us with any tangible semblance of good governance. Infact ODM is simply KANU RELOADED!!!! i insist
KIBAKI with his NARC (read DP) has failed to offer firm leadership. WHat we need now is a complete generational regime and class change.

its time for young people to take over...
of course this is but a pipe dream... as long as we create demi-gods, who are
so willing to pay for political patronage, THe generational change aint gonna happen!!!
its sad , i know, but what options do we have???
come 2007, we shall all retreate to our tribal cocoons and be fed a dish
of ethnic interests as opposed to national interest.
The old guard and the existing political class will rubbish all pretensions of a diversified multicultural society, and instead shout
that "its our time to eat"
Others will whip up public sympathy and rally the masses to their supposedly divine mandate to govern!! (read loot!!)
all in all its sad that the youth will not be able to marshal resources and rally the masses so as to force a regime change.
firk the gava!!! firk narc!!! firk odm!!! infact firk all the politicians!!!

the firking bird flu is finally here!!! what does the gava do???
it does some stupid test and declares it to be newcastle fever or something!!!! meanwhile birds are falling dead all over the country for no apparent reason!!
talk of a lethargic government!!!!as usual the propaganda machine is in full swing
and we shall be treated to the usual dose of
"the govt is fully prepare to handle any outbreak of bird flu.....bla bla bla!!!!!!!"
gimme a firkin break!!!! stop firkin around and deal with the flu!!!! kwani Kenya is in the OZONE LAYER of AFRICA???? the flu has been reported in Cameroun (western AFrica). It had been reported in Ethiopia which is in EAStern AFrica!! YAni those birds went round the continent and avoided kenya???
thats it!! no more kuku choma till this shit is over!!!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

kengen IPO euphoria..

Jaindi kisero in his piece today in the daily nation, has cautioned the public against the excitement generated by the IPO.
I tend to disagree with his view on the ipo.

yea to some extent our financial markets are rather unpredictable and volatile.

what is currently going on is a bearish trend - whereby people are selling stocks not for speculative reasons- but to fund future acquisitions.

to some extent i dont agree that buying kengen shares might be disastrous in the long term. on the contrary, kengen is poised to be a high yield stock-given the fact that it is an energy stock.

worldwide trends with regard to technology and specifically energy stocks have pointed to strong gains in the longterm. given our energy needs and climatic conditions, kengen is poised to continue playing the critical and crucial role in energy security for the country.

i can confidently state that it will be damn expensive to buy a kengen share 1 year from now-the price will have skyrocketed!!!!!

of course most kenyans are eying the stock in the hope of reaping shortterm gains (dividends, capital gain, high eps, etc). now this group will indeed help bring the price down for a while, and thats where a strategic investor can cash in.


apply now and hope to get alloted some shares, or engage in secondary trading at the NSE and hope the price doesnt rise steeply in the short term.

but either way, Kengen stock is indeed a must have long term stock!!

cos as it were, we will always need energy!!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

what a firking shame!!!!!! pumbavu hawa...

the firkin gava has done it !!!!!!! how on earth???what did michuki think ???that by raiding ktn/standard, he wud be be doing good to the govt???
how on earth is the firkin CID boss supposed to investigate crimes when he himself is committing crimes???
who the firk cannot not see the folly of it all. hawa yenyewe wamekuwa pumbavu wa hali ya juu!!! washidwe!!!
methinks the CID in conjuction with the NSIS pangad the raid without the prezzo's knowledge!! I bet Kibs aliamka asubuhi na pia he was shocked to miss his copy of the standard.
fine, yenyewe standard goofed by publishing useless allegations which had no credible foundation. he allegations were injurious to the prezzo, lakini that was no excuse for this shit!!!!
why on earth would a whole PPO not be in the know with regard to the raid???
are these the same people who are supposed to protect us from muggers, carjackers, thugs and other criminals????
yenyewe this is the last straw in Kibs tenure. As sad as i hate to admit this, he is so unreelectable......that come 2007, he had better retire quietly to Othaya.
No matter his shortcomings, MOI NEVER EVER, sanctioned a raid on a media house!!!
kenyans must guard our fundamental freedoms (freedom of the press being one of them)
we must never let such a situation unfold again!!!
even if its an issue of flexing your muscles, i dont think a raid is an appopriate avenue to vent your anger.
poor standard/ktn....they were doing so well now the gava has made them suffer irreparable damages in terms of credibility and finances....
lakini from that ash of destruction will rise a bold and authoritative media house that
will take on all social ills...including a government's crime against its own people!!!!
lets arise and vote out this pumbavu gava!!!!!